AHSTYN - "Purgatory" Track List and Lyrics
AHSTYN "Purgatory" Track List and Lyrics:
1. Dreams (Instrumental)
2. Inbetween - I'm the middle man with a complex plan to somehow heal the Earth. I've been sent here to do something important, but I can't remember what it is for all that it's worth. I want to be a vessel of light, so I can help you shine. Just know that whatever progress you make surely isn't mine. You decide who you truly are. I believe you can go far, while I sit here doubting myself and my abilities. I'm somewhere inbetween Heaven and Hell. I'm in a place where a former angel fell and I'm in a place where the holy king rings his bell. It's a part of my neverending story. I'm confined to the waiting room of purgatory.
3. Both - You're in love with love. I'm in bed with death. You're breathing heavy for life. I'm taking my final breath. You're inspired by nature. I'm a scary evil creature. You're engulfed in the beauty of the light. I'm embraced by the darkness at night. Like a battery, it's the polarity. Positive and negative are equally necessary. You're a little bit of both. You can't have one without the other. I'm a little bit of both. We share it with each other. I'm in love with love. You're in bed with death. I'm breathing heavy for life. You're taking your final breath. I'm inspired by nature. You're a scary evil creature. I'm engulfed in the beauty of the light. You're embraced by the darkness at night.
4. Relevant - A year goes by and here I am. Still struggling to make ends meet. Still needing funded assistance in order to eat. Still practically homeless and close to living on the street. My mental health is as poor as me. Overthinking until I'm dead is starting to look like my destiny. My head won't leave me alone. I have constant ringing in my ears like the sound of a dial tone from a phone. I have chronic fatigue which may be possible narcolepsy. My anxiety and depression is so bad that it feels good to get mad. I'm a fucking mess. I'm full of stress, and all I want to do is bless and be blessed.
5. Spectrum - With extreme highs and major lows, who the fuck knows where my mind goes, but my agitation grows and my frustration shows. Bouncing back and forth on the spectrum. I'm always at the top or at the bottom. I'm either feeling low and dumb or high and cool. There's no exception to the rule. What goes up must come down. I'm just like a laughing and crying funny and sad fucking clown.
6. Empty - Life doesn't seem like it's working out for me. Checking out is my way of escaping this reality, but it's short lived because the thoughts return to haunt me. Missing my best friend, never seems to fucking end. Since the day I lost you, I've been empty without you. So, tell me, How I'm, supposed to, be happy. Being empty without you is what I've been forced to go through. So, tell me, How can, I be, happy? If you were here with me, I would tell you how much I love you, and I would have a chance to make things right. Instead of dealing with this guilt and shame that's impossible to fight.
7. Cope - I'm falling in reverse, going backwards down the hill. The more I try to move forward, I find, I'm living my life really fast in rewind. I can't catch up to the present because I'm a resident of the past. Continuously beating myself up is really kicking my ass. I'm trying to cope in a world where I have no hope. I'm trying to breathe in a world of death and disease. I'm trying to live in a world that doesn't give a shit. I'm trying to be Ok in a world of slow decay. It's hard for me to tell you how I feel. It's easy for me to determine the fake from the real. It's hard for me to be consistently even keel. It's easy for me to turn down a good deal.
8. Ravaged - Enveloped in my suffering. Wrapped up in a blanket of pain. Overwhelmed by my existence that I'm worried I won't be able to sustain. Paranoid to take a walk outside for fear of feeling alive. Scared to begin to live my life, even though, I feel like I've already died. So, I run and hide from the pain inside, bu the gears don't work in a motorless ride. I'm so sensitive. My emotions are expansive. I get goosebumps from the air. My eyes get blurry from the light. I get ravaged by the moon. My soul gets blacker by the night.
9. Glad - I want to thank you for everything you've done for me. I appreciate it sincerely. I appreciate you truly. You have helped me more than you think. Thanks for your support. Let me buy you a drink. None for me, but you be my guest. I just want to tell you that you're the best. I'm so glad for you being there. I'm so glad for you showing you care. I'm so glad for you saying nice things. I'm so glad for you pulling my heart strings.
10. Existing - You make it barable to get out of bed in the morning. You make me feel important when I'm obviously being boring. You still like me even when I'm acting like an asshole. You still believe in me when I'm having trouble reaching my goal. Being alive is so much better with you in my life. You are the reason I continue moving on, even when I think everything worthwhile is gone. I'm so lucky to have you by my side, even if I feel like half of me died.
11. Maker - Give me the faith to believe in you. Give me the will to connect with you. Give me the strength to walk with you. Give me the courage to trust in you. Left to my own devices, I am worthless. You have the power to make me feel priceless. It's up to me to reach out to you, but I must put my faith in what you can do. You can heal me, if I let you. You can change me, if I let you. You can use me, if I let you. You can rule me, if I let you.
